Sam Remembers
by PookbearD
Summary: What if Sam remembers exactly where he went and everything that happened to him during the time he was dead? He went to Hell. This story attempts to explain precisely what happened to him and why he is so adamant about saving Dean.


Takes place around AHBL, Parts 1 & 2. Mentions of Dean's deal.

**Standard disclaimers apply.** I own nothing and have no money to afford anything of great importance.

Reviews are like chocolate, and stuffed animals, and hugs, all rolled into one - Greatly appreciated! Please let me know if you would like to read more of this. It has been difficult to write and I don't want to continue, unless there is some interest in reading further into this story.

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Sam remembers.

He remembers _everything_. In horrifying vivid detail. Sometimes he can still feel it happening to him and he has to remind himself, he is no longer in Hell. Dean brought him _back_. His brother gave him a second chance. Dean doesn't know that he has sentenced himself to the same fate he just rescued his little brother from. That is why Sam is so determined to save Dean.

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It's been 3 days since Sam "woke up" or at least that is what he keeps telling himself. Although the phantom pains he keeps experiencing throughout his body say differently, Dean keeps looking at him like he is the greatest thing since apple pie, and Sam knows he is back among the living.

Thank God or Budda or whichever entity may be the ultimately supreme being of the universe for allowing him to function on autopilot. He nods his head at Dean in reply to any questions that come his way, and goes about the rituals of eating, showering, researching, but not sleeping. He can't sleep. He refuses to allow his eyes to close more than the instance of a blink. Any longer and he is once again there. In Hell.

Along with Andy. Pastor Jim. Caleb. Mom. Jessica. Madison. Those he has known, loved, and been too late to save. All there. In the pits of Hell. Suffering alongside of him. And now Sam truly understands what Hell is. It isn't just the heat, the physical torture, and bodily pain. It is the mental agony unleashed on your primitive mind that would drive a lesser man to insanity. He knows now, he will go to the ends of the earth, before he will let that same terrible fate befall his brother Dean.

He hears Dean's slight snores coming from the bed next to him and knows his brother has finally succumbed to sleep. Dean has been awake most of the past 3 days hovering over him like a mother hen. Asking him repeatedly if he is alright. And now, Sam is finally alone with his torturous thoughts. Staring up at the dull grey ceiling of another fleabag motel at the outskirts of some two-bit town in the middle of nowhere. If he concentrates long enough, he can almost make out the sounds of screaming coming straight from the bowels of Hell. He thinks he can pick out Mom and Jessica from the rest. How he wishes he could rescue them from their terrible fate.

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He doesn't remember closing his eyes, yet he struggles to open them. Wonders where he is and how come everything is so quiet. Finally he is able to crack them open a slit and is greeted with mostly darkness and a few dancing shadows. He can no longer hear Dean's even breathing and occasional snoring. He turns his head to the left to search the bed, but it is empty; still made, as if no one has ever laid in it. As if Dean never existed. And he begins to wonder if Dean is here. If Dean is still his brother or something much, much worse.

He turns his head to the right and is greeted by the sadistic face of Meg smiling down at him. "Welcome home Sam" she says while reaching forward and brushing some hair out of his eyes, as he flinches at her touch.

In horror he realizes he is back there. In Hell. He attempts to get up, but finds he is being held to a hard table. He is only able to move his head from side to side. At this moment, he would give anything to once again be in the ratty, extremely uncomfortable, motel bed, lying next to his sleeping brother. He closes his eyes tightly to block out what he knows is forthcoming.

"Eh, eh, eh, Sam, no hiding behind those puppy dog lids from our good time. Your new mentor is almost ready to strike out on his own and see what he is capable of. Our father has taught him well and is anxious to see him in action. Come on out big brother and meet your new little brother. Sam, I would like you to meet . . ., oh, I forgot, stupid me, you two already know each other, so no introductions need to be made. Come on out brother. What are you waiting for?"

Sam opens his eyes and looks behind Meg into the darkness. He can sense someone there, but cannot yet see their face. Finally he hears a voice, one he has been hoping and praying to hear since the dawn of eternity or however long he has been trapped in Hell. Just not like this. God, never like this. "Hey little brother. Welcome home. What took you so long Sammy?" He says while stepping right next to Meg, from the shadows, into the light. Finally Sam can see the smile that has always been reserved just for him. His heart literally leaps from his chest when he notices the once beautiful green eyes are now black as coal and cold as the mountains of Everest; and he wishes this were only a horrible nightmare, not his current reality.

"Dean!?"

"Ding, ding, ding, give this kid a million bucks Dad. He guessed the correct answer. Check out the big brain on Sammy." Dean cheerfully says while looking above Sam's head. Sam follows Dean's line of sight and is again gripped with fear as his eyes settle on the Yellow-Eyed Demon, Azazel. The very person that Dean just lovingly referred to as Dad.

Sam's eyes ping-pong between Dean and YED. He feels sick and wishes to Heaven that he would – Just. Wake. Up. He tries to move his body again, with no luck.

"Hey champ, fancy seeing you again. I guess we just couldn't get rid of our star quarterback, now, could we?" YED replies.

"Sam, it's so nice to see you again." Ava chimes in as she appears, smiling, from behind YED in the shadows.

A small stream of smoke appears to his left, before he hears, "Dude, you don't know what you have been missing" Andy adds, "this place freaking rocks" as he takes another hit from Moby Dick's Bong.

"Sam, I wish I'd never met you" he hears softly in the background, before he recognizes it as Madison.

Before his mind has had time to process all of this, he hears the one voice he believed he would never hear again in life.

"Sam, I loved you, you were my world, how could you not share something this important with me?" And finally tears spring to his eyes as he hears the angelic voice of his beloved Jessica.

"Jess?!" he cries out through a strangled sob, caught in his throat like dust bunnies stuck in the hose of a vacuum cleaner.

"Yes Sam, I am here. Just like all the rest of these people who have ever known, loved, or hated you. You are the reason we are all here. In Hell. I hope you are happy with yourself." She states before she turns away from him in disgust, tears streaming down her beautiful face.

"I was just sleeping, how did I get here?" He looks over his head and directs his question to the YED.

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End of Chapter 1

Questions?! Reviews?!


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